![]() RELATED POST: Physical Discipline: How Does Being Hit Affect Children?Ī toxic grandparent is someone with an over-inflated ego and a lack of empathy for other people’s feelings. They want to punish you for denying them time with the grandkids, and they don’t care that what they’re doing is going to hurt those same kids they’re professing to love so dearly. They will stop at nothing to get what they believe they’re entitled to.Īnd it has nothing to do with love for the grandchildren. In extreme cases, a toxic grandparent will sue you for visitation rights, or even for full custody of your kids. If that doesn’t work, they’ll enlist relatives to harass you on their behalf. They will go as far as demanding time with your kid ONLY, trying to bypass you and take control of the situation. If they don’t get that time for whatever reason, they’ll accuse you of using your kid to hurt them. The toxic grandparent feels like you owe them time with their grandchildren. Feeling Entitled to Time With the Grandchildren This is an example of how the toxic grandparent can harm a child, and still think that they’ve done nothing wrong. ![]() Even though it happened after the child spent the weekend at grandma’s, she simply didn’t see how it was her fault. I have a personal experience with a grandmother overfeeding the grandchild to the point of constipation, and then denying any responsibility when confronted. Just as they deny having made any mistakes as a parent, they will deny any lapses in judgment as a grandparent. ![]() So when a parent refuses to acknowledge any parenting missteps or regrets, it’s a red flag for a problematic grandparent. People who can’t admit fault can’t learn from their mistakes. They believe they were a great parent and that the issue is with you. Quite simply, the grandparent is incapable of reflecting on their flaws and wrongdoings. Whenever you bring up painful moments from your childhood, the grandparent gaslights you by saying: “I don’t remember that,” or “You always exaggerate!” Denying Having Made Any Parenting Mistakes “Parents delegate authority to the grandparent, not the other way around.”Ģ. Lane Tanner, M.D., at the University of California-San Francisco. ![]() “The grandparent’s role is not to challenge but to fit in with the family culture,” says J. This type of behavior is a breach of trust and one of the things grandparents should never do. In their eyes, since they have seniority and experience raising children, they always know best, and no one can tell them otherwise. When it comes to food restrictions, bedtime, screen time, or any other rules you have for your child, a toxic grandparent doesn’t accept your parental authority. Here are 10 signs that you might be dealing with a difficult grandparent. They are manipulative, controlling, self-serving individuals who can do a lot of damage if not kept in check. So they are often perceived as harmless old folks who love to spoil their grandkids. It’s even worse when grandparents are involved.Īs a culture, we place importance on having an extended family, and grandparents are a big part of that. If you ever dated a jerk, you know that people are quick to tell you to “dump his sorry ass.”īut if a family member is mistreating you, they say: “Just brush it off.” ![]()
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